episode
91
•
Inner Healing

Self-Worth–How to Believe You Are Enough & Transform Your Life with Jamie Kern Lima

Episode Notes

Do you doubt yourself?

Struggle to respect your own worth?

Self-worth is foundational to both our psychological and our spiritual health, and today's episode is all about how to develop it. My guest, Jamie Kern Lima, is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and grew to the largest luxury makeup brand in the country.

If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, this episode is for you.

‍

Here's what we cover:

1. The 4 benefits of self-worth

2. The difference between self-worth and self-confidence

3. The moment Jamie realized she was believing a lie

4. Who are you really doubting?

5. The prayer Jamie prayed to combat God-doubt

6. Research on negative self-talk

7. How to reframe rejection

‍

Thanks to our sponsors:

‍

Resources

‍

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

© 2024 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage without permission from the author.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

‍

Transcript:

Alison: Hey everyone. And welcome back to this week's episode of The Best of You Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so excited to bring you this conversation today. It's all about self-worth. Now, self-worth can sound like one of those self help-y buzzwords, but the truth is that a sense of self-worth is foundational to becoming a whole person psychologically and spiritually. 

‍

It's a key concept in the field of psychology. And it's a key concept in the story of creation and redemption all throughout the Bible. Self-worth gets at some of the most important fundamental questions we ask of ourselves. Does my life have inherent worth? Do I have value? Do I have a unique purpose? Does it matter that I'm here?

‍

Our sense of self-worth gets at our inherent dignity, our value, and our purpose. And it's foundational to living a beautiful life, a whole life, the kind of life God designed us to enjoy. The truth is that most of us really struggle to see ourselves as having that inherent worth that we see in other people. 

‍

We see it and honor it in our friends. We see it and honor it in the people we serve, we see it in our own kids and we try to instill it in our own kids, but it's really hard sometimes to see it in ourselves.

‍

On one hand we struggle to really experience and inhabit and live from a place of recognizing our own worth and our own. But, on the other extreme, we see a false version of this idea of self-worth presented to us often in the media and in the culture around us, where this idea of self-worth gets conflated with ego and arrogance and entitlement and even narcissism, which is in fact the opposite of a healthy sense of self-worth

‍

And that's not what we're after either. 

‍

Healthy self-worth is a nuanced concept that is so crucial, again, to living this life that God has for us. It involves a really balanced and honest assessment of our own strengths, our own talents, our own interests, the things we excel at, the areas where we feel useful and purposeful and the things we want to bring into this world as a child of God.

‍

Healthy self-worth also includes a recognition of where we fall short or where we may have limitations or blind spots or even imperfections. When we have a healthy sense of self-worth, we see both really honestly. We celebrate the gifts we've been given. We delight in leaning into our potential. And we also are aware of where we fall short and our limitations and we're aware of that without shame.

‍

When we find and discover a healthy sense of self-worth, it helps us in four key areas.

‍

Number one, it helps us tap into our God-given potential. We find the confidence to pursue our natural talents, the talents and gifts and abilities God has given us. We use our time and we make decisions in a way that aligns with how God made us. And we experience a deep satisfaction in finding purpose in our lives.

‍

Number two, it helps us establish healthy boundaries. When I have a strong sense of my worth and my value, I am less inclined to let other people take advantage of me or treat me poorly. I'm able to say no when I need to say no or separate myself from other people's harmful ways. 

‍

Number three, a healthy sense of self-worth empowers me to care well for myself. I think of Jesus's commandment when he says to love others as yourself. When we value ourselves, we work to take care of our bodies and our physical health. We work to take care of our emotions, and to take care of our mind and to treat ourselves with compassion instead of from that guilt-tripping inner critic that so often wants to rear up. 

‍

And lastly, a healthy sense of self-worth empowers us to create healthy relationships with others, because when we have a sense of our own worth and what we have to contribute, we will seek out healthy two way relationships with other people that are built on mutual respect, where we are valuing other people in the same way that we expect them to value us. 

‍

A healthy sense of self-worth is deeply biblical. We see the roots of it in Genesis 1:27, when we read that God created us in his image; we are made to bear the image of God. We have inherent dignity as a result of being made in the image of God. Every human being on this planet has inherent dignity and worth. We see it in Psalm 139:14, when the psalmist praises God in awe that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. 

‍

We are fearfully and wonderfully made and a sense of self-worth honors that. I am fearfully and wonderfully made byGod. Thank you for that gift. Help me steward it well. 

‍

And then again, in Matthew 10, when Jesus talks about the worth of even a sparrow and how not even a sparrow will fall to the ground outside the Father's care and that you and I are each worth more than many sparrows. Our God places value on us.

‍

And then finally, Ephesians 2:10, for we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Our lives of purpose. We have inherent dignity, we have inherent value, and we were created for a purpose.

‍

Our lives matter. We impact the world around us. We impact other people. And the more we understand the depth of our worth, I'm convinced the more we will unlock more of God's goodness in the world around us.

‍

And so for today's episode to talk all about this idea of self-worth, of worthiness, I thought of no one better to speak on the topic than Jamie Kern Lima, whose new book, Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life is all about recovering a sense of your worth.

‍

Jamie Kern Lima is a New York Times bestselling author of Believe It, and she's the founder of It Cosmetics, which is a company she started in her living room that has grown to become the largest luxury makeup brand in the country.

‍

Jamie's story is a stunning example of the fact that self-worth is never forgotten nor found in external accomplishments or achievements. It's not found in earning other people's approval or worldly accolades. She talks about how she achieved so many things in her external life only to discover that she did not have a healthy sense of self-worth.

‍

Jamie was given away at birth and adopted and has been on a lifelong journey of learning to believe she's worthy, lovable, and enough. She's been a Denny's waitress, a struggling entrepreneur, she's lived a lifelong journey of rejections and has battled her way through years of self-doubt, body-doubt, and God-doubt. Her brand new book, Worthy, walks us through step by step how to recover a healthy sense of self-worth.

‍

Jamie is the mother of two and an active philanthropist, who is donating 100 percent of her author proceeds for both Worthy and Believe It. Please enjoy this conversation about self-worth with Jamie Kern Lima.

‍

****

I am thrilled to have you here with me today, Jamie. I read your first book, I listened to it actually on Audible. I loved it. And I'm so thrilled about this new book all about being worthy. We talk so much on this podcast about self-worth. I am curious when you first struggled with self-worth; how did you see yourself back in those early days when you were a younger version of yourself and what did that look like for you?

‍

Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. I have struggled with self-worth my entire life, and the thing, Alison, I want to say by the way–thank you for having me. I'm so honored to be having this talk with you and sharing it with everyone in the audience and it's amazing. For me, self-worth is the one thing that changes everything in our entire lives, our relationships, our goals and dreams, how fulfilled we are.

‍

And I learned it the hard way. And then I relearned it after achieving all these things that the world tells me is what success looks like. And I got to this point in my life where I realized there's such a big difference between self-confidence and self-worth. I realized I had achieved all these things.

‍

Sold my business for a billion dollars and all these things and had lunch with Oprah and just all these different things that I felt so confident about at the time, but I was still stuck in certain areas of my life and I was still sabotaging things and I still didn't feel enough. Because what I didn't realize is I had achieved a lot and done all these things that build self-confidence, which is largely based on external things.

‍

But underneath it all, I hadn't yet learned to feel truly worthy and truly enough. And, as we speak right now, 80 percent of women don't believe they're enough. 75 percent of female executives deal with imposter syndrome. 91 percent of girls and women don't love their bodies and the numbers are staggering.

‍

Growing up I often didn't feel enough. I was adopted and my parents worked a lot and I always had labeled myself words like abandoned or rejected. I always felt like, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's God whispering to me: you are here to do great things. You are here for a purpose.

‍

And I always felt that even as a little girl. So I had this kind of drive in me to decide, okay, where I come from doesn't have to determine where I'm going and all of those things. And I had these big goals, but for anyone listening to us who's a people pleaser or a perfectionist, you might relate to this.

‍

I for so long believed the lie that if I can just achieve enough, then I'll be enough, then I'll feel enough. And a big part of why I wrote the book Worthy is because when people see my story and they think, oh, it's a fairy tale. She went from a Denny's waitress to a billion dollar company.

‍

My real story is a girl who did not believe in herself or believe she was enough and had to learn how. In my journey, there were so many moments I almost doubted myself out of my own destiny. And I always had that kind of deep knowing, which, when I pray or get still, I feel like I can hear it in my soul and I feel like that's how God talks to me.

‍

And I always knew I could do great things. I was worthy of being the first person in my family to work really hard and go to college and all of those things. And then what I feel like happens in life or at least happened to me for sure is I believed a lot of the lies that lead to self-doubt and that are in our head and our thoughts.

‍

And I thought, okay, I feel like I'm not enough because I haven't done enough yet or achieved enough. And so I worked really hard, eventually paying my way through school doing lots of different jobs. And then was in what I thought was my dream job in television news, interviewing other people.

‍

And I got a really serious skin condition called rosacea. For some people it's pretty mild and it's hereditary and there's no cure for it. But for me, I get these big red bumps and patches all over my face. And it was at one point close to ending my news career because every time I'd be live on the air, I would hear my producer say, there's something on your face, you've got to wipe it off.

‍

And I went through this big season of setback and self-doubt. But what I know is so often in life, our setbacks are actually God's setups for what we're called to do. And long story short, I ended up taking a big chance and launching a business in my living room called IT Cosmetics and went through years and years of hundreds of rejections.

‍

It was teetering on bankruptcy for many years. A lot of people know it now as the success that it is but it was a hard journey. And along that way, I got to the outcome that I'd always dreamed of. I sold the business. I was in Forbes magazine, like all these things were happening.

‍

I eventually met Oprah, went to her house for lunch. And here's what I learned the hard way, Alison, is that I had a lot of self-confidence then. I had achieved all the things, but underneath it all, I still didn't believe I was enough. Self-confidence is an internal trait based so much on the external. 

‍

A lot of people think self-confidence and self-worth are the same thing. But self-confidence can fluctuate so easily based on if we're winning or losing or how much of the world's definition of success we have or how we feel we stack up compared to others or our willingness to try and go for it.

‍

And it can fluctuate and it's fragile. But our self-worth is the deep internal knowing that we are worthy of love exactly as we are. These are two different things. And what I learned the hard way through having lunch with Oprah at the very end of it, Alison, this was my lifelong dream.

‍

And I walked into this lunch so confident. I had all this career success and had sold my business for so much I couldn't even imagine the day I was a Denny's waitress selling a company for a billion dollars. Like what, how does that even–I know how it happened. I work really hard, but I had built a lot of confidence.

‍

When Oprah at the end of this lunch gave me her cell phone number and said, you can call me anytime. I did not call her for four years.

‍

And in that four year window, I thought, oh, I'm just going to wait ‘till I have the perfect thing to say to her, then I'll call or, oh, I bet if everyone wants something from her, I'm going to prove I don't need anything for all these stories.

‍

One day I realized the real reason I didn't call her was because deep down inside, I did not believe I was worthy of being her friend. And for anyone listening to us right now, if you've ever had this big goal and you thought oh when I finally get that thing, then I'll feel enough. Then I'll be happy, then I'll feel fulfilled–maybe it's marriage and kids or it's a certain job title or it's a six pack abs, whatever it is, and then you work so hard, you get the thing and then what happens? 

‍

Maybe you're excited and happy for a month or a week or a few hours, but eventually if underneath it all you don't have strong self-worth, you'll still feel like something's missing.

‍

And then we work harder and achieve more and most people can go their whole lives and never feel like they're enough. In that moment when I realized the reason I didn't call Oprah even though I had what the world tells me should make me feel enough, I didn't feel like I was enough. So I had a lot of self-confidence but not self-worth.

‍

When we don't have self-worth, we will sabotage things like I did with Oprah, we will stay stuck and not go for things. We won't put our art or ideas out in the world. Or if we have medium self-worth we will go for the things and eventually maybe even get them. But we won't feel fulfilled or enough when we arrive there. 

‍

So that was the moment that I became obsessed with self-worth and it is why I wrote Worthy because it's packed with 20 tools to really build true self-worth.

‍

Alison: I love that you're talking about this, Jamie, that, you'd achieved it. And even that example, I think we can all relate to that where you have a phone number. And you make up all sorts of excuses for not doing it because deep inside something inside of you, this voice is whispering, you're not good enough. You're not worth that. She doesn't really mean that. We can all relate to that on some level. 

‍

So tell us, how did you overcome that? You had to become aware of it. We always talk about this. Awareness is the first step to healing. You became aware. Oh my gosh. Yes. I'm my problem in a way. And then how did you change? I think sometimes we know we need to feel a certain way, but we don't. So how did you get from where you were to where you knew you needed to be?

‍

Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah, and I love that you also talk about awareness a lot because I think for a lot of people even probably listening to us right now, they don't fully know why they're stuck. They know they have a book inside of them but they haven't written it, or they know they want to show up as who they truly are on social media but they're not quite ready, or they want to tell the person that they want to be more than just friends, or they want to get back on the dating app, whatever it might be, and they think, oh, I got to get more confidence, or more skills, or another degree, or any of those things, but none of those build self-worth, and they're just so different.

‍

We're in a world that tells us, you look at every commercial on television or ad, they tell us if we get that thing, then we'll be happy, then we'll be enough. And yes, when we work hard to get those things, it's important. Building self-confidence is important, and growth and contribution are like the house we build, but our self-worth is the foundation underneath it all.

‍

And we're only ever as fulfilled and happy as that rock solid foundation. And after this had happened, the first thing, Alison, is I had that huge epiphany. Oh my gosh, I'm not calling her not because I don't have the right thing to say, but because I don't feel I'm worthy of it.

‍

And here's what I know to be true, is in our life we don't become what we want or get what we want–we become what we believe we're worthy of. And with our goals and our dreams, and they could be in personal friendships, relationships, it doesn't matter. 

‍

We don't rise to what we believe is possible. We follow what we believe are worthy of. We don't soar to our goals and dreams. We stay stuck at our level of self-worth. 

‍

And I had that huge awareness to describe it in the words you use. And I was like, whoa, that was the moment. And for me, in the book Worthy, I talk about all of these different tools on how to build self-worth right now.

‍

And one of them, there's an entire chapter on how if you are a person of faith and if you actually are going to believe what you say, you're going to believe God's Word. Like it is the greatest self-worth hack because for me personally, I believe in God. And yet I had to ask myself in that moment, is this story that I'm not worthy?

‍

Is that true? And my mind is telling me, my thoughts are telling me it is, but I remember literally imagining myself turning down the volume on my thoughts, like a dial on a radio, like turning it down and tuning into what is that knowing, which for me, when I pray and I get still, that still small voice.

‍

That's how I hear God. I've never heard God talk to me out loud, but I get that sense, which I call my own knowing or intuition. And in that moment I was like, okay, first of all, I know I am a great friend, like I am so worthy of being her friend. She and anyone else would be lucky to be my friend because I'm such a good friend.

‍

That's what I know for sure. But then our self-doubt, like there's a whole section of Worthy where I go into all the lies that lead to self-doubt and then how to ignite those truths that wake up worthiness. And that moment when I knew, oh, my mind is telling me I'm not worthy, but my soul, my knowing what God is telling me is I'm more than worthy. 

‍

That was the moment I picked up the phone and called her. We ended up teaching a class called The Life You Want this year together. All these things have happened that almost didn't happen. And ever since I've become obsessed with building self-worth and to share the tip about faith.

‍

But I want to say that had I not picked up the phone and called, all the things that have happened since wouldn't have happened. And I like to share that ‘cause I'm donating a hundred percent of the proceeds of my book. Like none of this is about me. What I'm so passionate about is every person listening to us right now.

‍

How are you doubting yourself out of your own destiny the way I almost did? What things aren't happening now because you haven't picked up the phone or you haven't tuned in and trusted yourself instead of your thoughts that lead to self-doubt? Really building self-worth is the biggest thing and so when it comes to faith, there is a whole chapter called “who are you really doubting”? 

‍

And I realized in my life that I know in my soul, and it's been a long journey, many of my years as in my early twenties, I went through a season of does God really exist? And a whole season of God-doubt in my life. And I was the first person–I have five families because I was adopted. It's a whole thing.

‍

I'm the first person I'm aware of to ever go to counseling and seek therapy. And it was actually that therapist that said to me, and I don't even know if she has faith, I have no idea. But she said to me, because I was telling her I'm feeling like, does God really exist? And this is me in my twenties.

‍

And she says what makes you think he can't handle your doubt? If he created the entire universe, what makes you think he can't handle your doubt? And I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, why don't you try praying and telling him you're doubting him and asking him to show up and prove you wrong? And I was like, okay.

‍

And this is embarrassing to even share, but I'm just going to share it in case it's for someone listening to us today, that every time I started praying and this went on for years, whether I was praying about a friend's health or whatever it might be, at the very end of the prayer, I would say, and God, I'm doubting you exist.

‍

So if you could please show up and prove me wrong, without a shadow of a doubt, I would be so grateful. In Jesus name, Amen. That was how I ended all my prayers. And he started showing up. It didn't happen immediately. Undeniably, it happened. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God exists. And so to answer your question about what did you do? How did you start building self-worth? 

‍

One of the tools in the book is a whole chapter called “who are you really doubting” and what I realized in my life was oh, I have a strong relationship with Jesus. I believe in my faith so much. I believe all of these things.

‍

And yet do I really, because if I'm made in God's image, if I can do all things through Christ, he strengthens me. But then I decide I'm not enough. I don't belong in the room. I'm unqualified. Who am I to do this? All those things. What I'm actually doing is believing my own thoughts. And doubting God's Word.

‍

Alison: It's so true. I even think about how we're in a relationship that we're not getting treated the way that we should be treated. And to your quote, this is such a good quote–I want to double click on it because you said we stay stuck at the level of our self-worth. 

‍

We believe God loves us. We believe we are his beloved children, and that should ripple out into how we show up in our relationships, how we show up in work, how we show up to steward our potential. I love that. And I also want to say, I love your prayer because it reminds me of Peter. 

‍

When Peter says to Jesus, I believe–help my disbelief. I trust you; help my disbelief. The third thing you said, I had to pick up the phone and call up. I didn't feel it yet, but there's something there, even in your prayer. Like I couldn't necessarily always conjure up the belief in God, or I couldn't necessarily conjure up the belief in myself, but I took the step of action.

‍

I want to highlight that. I finally just picked up the phone and called or I said the prayer. I don't know if I believe in this God, but I'm going to pray. There's so much wisdom in that. Faith isn't always feeling. It doesn't always mean we feel that great belief in God. It doesn't always mean we feel that belief in ourselves, but it does mean acting on what we know to be true. I love that.

‍

Jamie Kern Lima: Yes. Exactly. Thank you for all of that. And yeah, right now, every day, building our self-worth, trusting God's word over our own self-doubt. For me, it's a lifelong journey. It's when I still, every single day, when I talk in Worthy about every time self-doubt enters my mind and I have thoughts like, I don't belong in this room, am I going to have anything smart to say, am I going to add any value? 

‍

Am I qualified to be here? Whatever those thoughts are. Do I belong in this friend group? Am I enough? I will intercept my own self-doubt, literally intercept it and ask myself, who am I going to believe–my own doubt or God's word, which one? I go deep into this in the book, but for me, this has been a life-changing tool. 

‍

I believe that the things we call self-doubt can take root at an identity level. Because for a lot of us, we've made so many past mistakes, or past failures or past rejections, and somehow we've let that turn into a story of I am a rejection or I'm a failure, or, and they take root at an identity level.

‍

And we know that's not true when we believe God's word, we know that's not true. And so what I always ask myself is oh, this self-doubt, if I'm going to trust this self-doubt that I'm not enough and I don't belong here, I intercept it right away and realize self-doubt is actually God-doubt.

‍

God-doubt. It's believing my own thoughts and doubting God's word; self-doubt could be God-doubt. And for me, I like when I'm about to walk into a room or make a presentation or walk into a new friendship and meet someone for coffee, we all have different moments we doubt we’re enough. I literally intercept it in that moment and remind myself of how God made me.

‍

I remind myself of his Word, remind myself that I'm not walking in alone. I know who I'm walking in with and I know whose I am, not just who I am. I'll just decide to believe that and I feel like for those of us that do have faith, we have an edge.

‍

We have a secret recipe, a secret ingredient that a lot of people don't have when it comes to really hacking the system and building self-worth. Because we have something we know to be true that we can then turn to and decide to trust when it comes to our own self-worth. And to share one thing also that you had said is for so many of us, we have situations where, you use the example of, we somehow keep relationships that don't treat us well.

‍

And for some of us, those are friendships. For others, it could be romantic relationships. It could be professional relationships. And we keep people in our lives that treat us less well than we deserve. We stay stuck at the level of our self-worth, and that applies to our friendships and our relationships in every area.

‍

And when we build our self-worth it impacts all of it because we attract what we believe we are worthy of also. Where I want to go with this, I think the most important area where we allow people to treat us less than we deserve is our own relationship with ourselves. And for so many of us, I know you share so many of these amazing topics on your show, but for so many of us the things that we say to ourselves when we're not even aware of our things, we would never say to another person,

‍

Alison: 100%.

‍

Jamie Kern Lima: Right? And when you look at all the data on negativity bias and one study says that when you're interacting with other people, we're reading negative comments or positive comments on social whatever it is, that you need at least four positive ones for every one negative one just to be neutral.

‍

For everyone listening to us right now, think about the thoughts you have about yourself all day long. Are you at least having four positive things that you are appreciating about yourself for every one that you might think is negative or you might critique?

‍

There's a whole chapter in my book called, “do you see you”? And it's how to build that self-love and self-appreciation that we can so easily see in other people, but don't see in ourselves. And how do you build that? Because at an identity level, if you're not at least having four positive thoughts about yourself–by the way, there's going to be people listening to us that are like, I haven't had a positive thought about myself in a month.

‍

Or a year. Because we're trained to be so harsh on ourselves. But every time you do that, it chips away at your identity, at your self-worth. And so there are simple things we can do in our lives right now. And there's a famous saying that we don't see things as they are. We see things as we are.

‍

Which is why a lot of people bring their own experiences to how they show up. And one of the tools in the book is just flipping that. It's saying, instead of we don't see things as they are, we see them as we are, it's flipping it and saying, okay, we can also see ourselves as things are.

‍

Meaning if we are so used to thinking negative about ourselves and have carved deep neural pathways, it's become a habit. When we intentionally start seeing the positive in everything, it becomes so much easier to see it in ourselves. I'm talking about simple things like waking up and going, wow, these sheets are so soft. This pillow is amazing. 

‍

Or even doing the dishes and instead of being like, ugh, be like, wow, the soap lathers. I get running water. When we start to write and then all of a sudden it retrains us to start loving the things about ourselves as well.

‍

Alison: It's so good. It's so interesting when we have those negative thoughts, we also can project that's how God sees us. I was thinking about that as you're talking, it also applies to, God. He is not sitting there beating us up all day long like we are sitting there beating ourselves up.

‍

So it's training yourself to see yourself as God sees you too. And I love this Jamie, thank you for bringing this to us. I have one question for you that I ask all my guests which is this: what is bringing out the very best of you right now?

‍

Jamie Kern Lima: I lean deep on my faith every single day. Even though I've been obsessed with studying self-worth and there are 20 tools that have been so helpful in the book Worthy for me, what brings out the best in me is when I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I know who I am, I know whose I am.

‍

I know who's going before me, making crooked places straight. I know how to pray very quickly, God, fill me with your Holy Spirit. Put your full arm around me, your crown of favor. There's a whole chapter in the book on reframing rejection and I've learned I'm fearless about rejection. Now, I have a lot of other stuff I'm working on, but I am fearless about rejection and failure.

‍

And one of my favorite ways to reframe it, and I believe this to be true, is either to get rejected and go, okay, I know rejection is God's protection. I know that, and I believe that, and over time that always proves right. My other favorite one that I'll share in case someone needs to hear this today, and I go deep into Worthy on, when someone maybe betrayed you in your life, or it could be a past failure or rejection or pain or a friend who pulled the rug out from underneath you or didn't see your value, or it could be a job you applied to, and you didn't get it and you wanted it so bad.

‍

For situations like that, I literally will apply this definition to them, apply this meaning to them. I imagine God saying to me, oh, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. And I believe that. And tools like that have helped me build my self-worth day by day because I don't think those rejections mean I'm a reject.

‍

I don't think those failures mean I'm a failure. I believe oh yeah no, God just hid my value from that friend who didn't invite me to the party, because they're not assigned to my destiny. I believe these things and it helps me over time build my identity. And then when I go after all the things I want and all my big goals, I'm able to actually feel fulfilled when I have them because I don't feel like I'm still not enough and I still have to achieve more. 

‍

And so it's one of many tools in the book. It's such an honor to share this with you, Alison, and just thank you so much.

‍

Alison: I wish we had all the time in the world, but I want to honor your time and I am just so grateful. I look forward to everyone taking a look at Worthy. It's going to be a life-changing read for everybody.

‍

Jamie Kern Lima: Thank you. I'm excited, it’s out in the world now and I'm so excited. It has been my life's greatest work. I'm donating all the proceeds. I'm just so excited because I have this vision of every girl, every woman, every person believing they're worthy. Literally no person left behind.

‍

If we actually lived our lives who God fully made us to be, oh my goodness, I imagine the businesses that would be started, the ideas that would be shared, the art that would be put out in the world, the healthy relationships that would form, the unhealthy relationships that would end.

‍

I'm so excited and there's lots of free gifts on worthybook.com. And you can get it anywhere books are sold. It's at Target, which I'm so excited about and independent bookstores. And yeah, it's just an honor to share it with you. And thank you so much again.

‍

Listen anywhere you get podcasts!

Apple
Spotify
amazon music
YouTube