Toxic Messages

Episode 52: The Enneagram—9 Ways to Uncover the Best (and Worst) of Who You Are, Get Honest With Yourself, & Improve Your Relationships

By Alison Cook | May 4, 2023

What a rich conversation with Enneacast podcast hosts Jesse Eubanks and Lindsey Lewis about the 9 different types of the Enneagram. We talk everything from mistyping women to Jesus, Kevin Hart, and the Apostle Paul. This is a great episode to share with your family, small group, or friends-it’s an opportunity for honest conversations about...

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Episode 51: The 12 Common Thinking Traps, Mind Reading, Mental Filters, and How To Stop Taking Things Personally

By Alison Cook | April 27, 2023

Do you struggle with taking compliments? Are you a mind reader? A minimizer? Or do you tend to take things personally? If you answered yes to any of these, you do not want to miss today’s episode. We’re discussing 12 common thinking traps, what psychologists call cognitive distortions. These are ways of thinking that trip...

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Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types?

By Alison Cook | April 13, 2023

Exciting News! This week marks the launch of our brand new series, My Favorite Psychology Tools, and we’re kicking things off with a deep dive into the fascinating world of personality types. With so many fads and trends out there, it can be hard to know what’s actually backed by research. That’s why we’re here...

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Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn’t the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of Believe

By Alison Cook | April 6, 2023

Gosh, it can be hard to live in a body, let alone learn to love it. We have so many demands that compete for our attention, not to mention all the mixed up messages we get as women- how in the world are we supposed to take the time to honor these bodies God has...

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Episode 47: Spiritual Bypassing vs. Embodied Faith & How Not to Harm Those Who Are Hurting, Including Yourself

By Alison Cook | March 30, 2023

This week on the podcast, we’re kicking off a mini 2-episode series on loving our bodies as a spiritual practice. Today, I dig into the problem of over-spiritualizing and how that does harm to ourselves and to others. Here’s what we cover: 1. What is spiritual bypassing? 2. Does every problem have a spiritual solution?...

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Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil

By Alison Cook | October 13, 2022

Today on The Best of You podcast, we’re diving into how to discern toxic vs. healthy patterns of behavior. There is no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. It requires discernment and wisdom; strategy and skill. That’s why it’s so important to understand what I call the Spectrum of Toxicity. I...

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Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal?

By Alison Cook | August 25, 2022

Today’s podcast episode is all about church hurt. A church is a family-at its best it’s a place to learn about God, a place to heal, and a place to give & receive in community. But just like any family, when leadership turns toxic the results are devastating. You have so many questions for me...

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Should I Become Less?

By Alison Cook | January 20, 2022

Have you heard the often-quoted verse: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30)? Maybe you have heard this verse as a call to humble yourself or make yourself small. You don’t want to exalt yourself in ways that are selfish or detrimental. So you might try to “become less” in any of...

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is-it-wrong-to-focus-on-myself

Is it Wrong to Focus on Myself?

By Alison Cook | August 26, 2021

As I’ve read and studied over the past few years, I am struck with two opposing messages that infiltrate our current cultural landscape. In the first message, you are taught to deny yourself in a way that I do not believe is of God. You are taught that you should bury your feelings, shrink, self-flagellate,...

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self-sabotaging relationships

What are Self-Sabotaging Messages and How Can You Spot Them?

By Alison Cook | July 29, 2021

As you may know if you’ve been following along these past few weeks, I’m writing a book this summer. Shortly after signing the contract, I started noticing old self-sabotaging behaviors that I haven’t seen in a decade. Suddenly, the house was clean, old files were organized. I was even starting to sleuth through a random...

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gaslighting-in-the-bible

Gaslighting and the Bible: How to Respond When Someone is Manipulating You

By Alison Cook | July 22, 2021

Have you ever felt trapped in the web of somebody’s words? No matter what you say, this person takes your words, spins them into something else, and uses them to get you to doubt yourself or do things you do not want to do. For example, a conversation might go something like this: You: “I’m...

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spiritual-gaslighting

Gaslighting and The Importance of a Good B.S. Detector

By Alison Cook | April 1, 2021

We live in a culture of gaslighting. That is, we live in a culture where people are adept at manipulating the truth to serve their own ego. It cuts across political parties, media, and even faith communities. It might have permeated your family. In today’s blog post, I will help you understand gaslighting, how it...

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While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.

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