Emotional Wholeness
4 questions to ask when it comes to setting boundaries with your phone
Imagine a day without your phone. . . Does a quick hit of Instagram make the grocery store line bearable? Are you texting your friends more than you’re talking to them? If you’re panicked at the thought of a day without your phone, it might be time to set some boundaries with your internal phone...
Boundaries with a numbing entertainment junkie
This one hurts. I’ll admit it – entertainment is probably my #1 numbing behavior and always has been. Whether it was Friday night sitcoms in the 80’s, Rom-Coms in the 90’s, or the binge-worthy internet surge of the 2000’s, I’m a sucker for escaping into the real or not-so-real lives of other people. So this...
When you’re eating to numb, find the part of your soul in need of your care
I don’t want to face the pain. That’s rarely what we’re thinking when we’re mindlessly eating to numb. At least, that’s not my experience when I reach for that bag of chips or third cookie. Instead, what I notice is a sense of urgency. I really need that cookie. Grab it, fast! Some part of...
7 common numbing behaviors that keep you from wholeness
As you probably know if you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, I was surprised to find my own inner numbing avoider completely upended by what you selected for me to write about this New Year. Yep, your overwhelming response to my poll on what to cover was numbing behaviors (e.g. overeating, binge watching television,...
When you need a rest from your inner task manager
A need isn’t always your personal call to action. My dad wrote this on a sticky note once and pasted it to his bathroom mirror. At the time, I didn’t really understand – I was a young kid. I just knew that my dad – a bastion of encouragement and helpful support – thought enough...
4 tips for overcoming perfectionism
If you struggle with overcoming perfectionism, please understand: I know how hard you work to be good. I know that you have the highest standards for yourself. . . that you value excellence. . . and that for the most part you are harder on yourself than you are on anyone else. You are cautious,...
When your shaming inner critic meets gentleness
What is the club you beat yourself with? Take a moment and consider your internal dialogue. Do you ever notice thoughts like these: You should be more like her. He’s so successful. If you were better, you’d be where he is. You deserve this bad thing that’s happened. You’ll never be as good as other...
Guest Post at AnnVoskamp.com
Thanks so much to the lovely Ann Voskamp for featuring my story—adapted from Chapter 5 of Boundaries for Your Soul —on her blog this week. It’s about how my journey to becoming a psychologist was disrupted when I had to face my own overwhelming emotions and learn to befriend them. If you’re anything like me,...
How to calm your worry
My client, Nicole, could not calm her worry. She worried about everything: she worried that if she didn’t marry, she would grow old alone—and that if she were to marry, her husband would end up cheating on her. She worried that if she stayed in her job, she would burn out—and that if she left...
4 ways to shift from overthinking to courageous risk-taking
Are you guilty of overthinking? I’ve had a few nicknames in my day. Most of them felt loving, but in my early twenties one took hold that really stung— “Analison.” Get it? Analyze + Alison = Analison. Ouch! If a friend or loved one is pointing out your tendency to over-analyze, you might want to...
Controlling others or confident leadership?
Would you rather lead by controlling others. . .or by empowering them? The answer to this question is pretty obvious. Controlling others gets a bad rap, and for good reason. Controlling behaviors can lead to manipulation, abuse of power, and boundary violations. On the other hand, we do want to have “self-control” and we also...
The 5 signs that your desire to please others has become extreme
The desire to please others isn’t all bad. But when the desire to please becomes extreme, it keeps you from tending to a more vulnerable part of your own soul in need. When you focus always on the needs of others, you risk neglecting your deepest desires. You also may be avoiding your fears and...
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.
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