Boundaries

Episode 25: Types of No Part 1—How to Say “No” in Healthy Relationships

By Alison Cook | October 20, 2022

This week and next week on The Best of You podcast, we’re getting into 3 types of “No”-including practical strategies, and scripts, for how to say No in different situations. First up is how to say no in healthy relationships. This episode is for you if you struggle to set a boundary, state a preference,...

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Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil

By Alison Cook | October 13, 2022

Today on The Best of You podcast, we’re diving into how to discern toxic vs. healthy patterns of behavior. There is no one-size fits all when it comes to setting healthy boundaries. It requires discernment and wisdom; strategy and skill. That’s why it’s so important to understand what I call the Spectrum of Toxicity. I...

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Episode 23: Am I wounded or am I sinful?

By Alison Cook | October 6, 2022

Today on the podcast, we’re diving into this question I keep bumping up against. On one hand we go to church, and we’re told you’re sinful; you need to repent, you need to die to yourself. On the other hand, we go to therapy, and we’re told you’re wounded; you’ve had trauma. You need to...

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Episode 22: How to Build Trust with Yourself

By Alison Cook | September 29, 2022

On this week’s podcast we’re talking all about building trust with yourself. This *internal* work is so important to the work of setting healthy external boundaries. I share with you an example from my own life and walk you through a process of connecting more deeply to what’s actually happening inside of you. As you...

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making-and-keeping-a-promise-to-yourself

Episode 21: Making and Keeping A Promise to Yourself

By Alison Cook | September 22, 2022

Today on The Best of You podcast, we’re starting a new series on Boundaries and the Bible. And we’re starting with what I call the Yes Side of No. So many of us struggle with setting external boundaries because we keep the focus on the other person. But the work of setting boundaries starts inside...

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Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People)

By Alison Cook | September 15, 2022

Sometimes living at peace with other people, means living at peace with disappointing them. It’s incredibly important to balance your responsibility to other people with a deep sense of responsibility to your God-given self. It’s not only good for you. It’s good for other people. Living at peace with yourself is a process of figuring...

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Episode 7: Why are boundaries so hard to set?

By Alison Cook | June 16, 2022

We dive into the power of boundaries in this episode and I guide you through a real time exercise on taking that first step.

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inner-alert-system

How to Reclaim Your Inner Alert System

By Alison Cook | March 3, 2022

Did you know that you have a built-in alert system inside your soul? Yep. God designed you with a sophisticated, state-of-the-art system to alert you to danger in your environment. It’s your nervous system, which impacts your emotions, your thoughts, and nearly every decision you make. This whole system works together to help you keep...

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Stuck Between Empathy and Loyalty

The Empathy Trap

By Alison Cook | February 24, 2022

Sometimes the world can feel like a mess. The cruelty, the hatred, the gaslighting from every direction. The hidden agendas and loud, screaming voices. If you’re empathetic you feel all of it. You anticipate the pain of the people around you. You understand the hurt behind those who are misbehaving, even when their actions are...

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when-a-boundary-becomes-unhealthy

Can a Boundary Become Unhealthy?

By Alison Cook | February 10, 2022

Vivian feels frustrated that her friend, Sue, constantly offers unsolicited advice about how she parents her children. However, she’s afraid of making Sue mad, so she doesn’t say anything. She tells herself it’s better to keep the peace in the relationship than risk offending her friend. John is fearful about trusting anyone and refuses to...

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setting-boundaries-cruel

Will Setting Boundaries Make Me Cruel?

By Alison Cook | December 16, 2021

I hear this question often and it reveals a conundrum that many people of faith face when it comes to setting boundaries. Many of you feel that you have only two options when a boundary line has been crossed: a. Lash out and be perceived as cruel or selfish. b. Ignore the boundary foul and...

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key-to-Setting-boundaries

The Secret to Setting Boundaries

By Alison Cook | November 4, 2021

My client, Kay, was facing bullying at work. One colleague in particular was taking advantage of her. She didn’t like the way he treated her, but she didn’t know how to get it to stop. Each week, she would come into my office filled with anger, guilt, and shame. She’d fume about her colleague, and...

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While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.

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