Boundaries

inner-alert-system

How to Reclaim Your Inner Alert System

By Alison Cook | March 3, 2022

Did you know that you have a built-in alert system inside your soul? Yep. God designed you with a sophisticated, state-of-the-art system to alert you to danger in your environment. It’s your nervous system, which impacts your emotions, your thoughts, and nearly every decision you make. This whole system works together to help you keep...

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Stuck Between Empathy and Loyalty

The Empathy Trap

By Alison Cook | February 24, 2022

Sometimes the world can feel like a mess. The cruelty, the hatred, the gaslighting from every direction. The hidden agendas and loud, screaming voices. If you’re empathetic you feel all of it. You anticipate the pain of the people around you. You understand the hurt behind those who are misbehaving, even when their actions are...

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when-a-boundary-becomes-unhealthy

Can a Boundary Become Unhealthy?

By Alison Cook | February 10, 2022

Vivian feels frustrated that her friend, Sue, constantly offers unsolicited advice about how she parents her children. However, she’s afraid of making Sue mad, so she doesn’t say anything. She tells herself it’s better to keep the peace in the relationship than risk offending her friend. John is fearful about trusting anyone and refuses to...

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setting-boundaries-cruel

Will Setting Boundaries Make Me Cruel?

By Alison Cook | December 16, 2021

I hear this question often and it reveals a conundrum that many people of faith face when it comes to setting boundaries. Many of you feel that you have only two options when a boundary line has been crossed: a. Lash out and be perceived as cruel or selfish. b. Ignore the boundary foul and...

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key-to-Setting-boundaries

The Secret to Setting Boundaries

By Alison Cook | November 4, 2021

My client, Kay, was facing bullying at work. One colleague in particular was taking advantage of her. She didn’t like the way he treated her, but she didn’t know how to get it to stop. Each week, she would come into my office filled with anger, guilt, and shame. She’d fume about her colleague, and...

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The Hidden Root of Toxic Behavior

By Alison Cook | October 5, 2021

You don’t really care about me. You only care about yourself. These words lingered in Mya’s mind as she came to my office for counseling. Earlier that week, her mother had lashed out at her—again. The truth was that Mya was trying to help her arrange for transportation to and from the hospital. But, her...

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spouse-to-change

How do I get my spouse to change?

By Alison Cook | May 27, 2021

Have you ever felt these ways? “I don’t want to leave my marriage, but I want my husband to stop losing his temper.” “I love my husband, but I wish he would stop working so much and spend more time with our family.” “My marriage isn’t terrible, but I feel like everything we do is...

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showing-up-for-yourself

How to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Showing Up for Yourself

By Alison Cook | May 6, 2021

The most important gift you have to give your relationships is the ability to show up for yourself. When you start showing up for yourself, you learn to see yourself as God sees you. This means that you start to engage yourself from the core, or center, of your heart (1 Sam. 16:7). You learn...

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when-you-find-love-but-lose-yourself

When you lose yourself in love

By Alison Cook | April 29, 2021

It happens all the time. At first, your new love relationship felt great. But, over time, you started to notice cracks in the foundation. Maybe your spouse changed, or started to show true colors that were there, but hiding, all along. Or, maybe you are the one who is changing. Maybe you committed to someone...

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Am I a Bad Person if I Say “No” and Hurt Someone?

By Alison Cook | January 28, 2021

Many of us, if we’re honest, tend to base the criteria for whether we feel good about ourselves on how other people respond to us. Without realizing it, we operate a little like this: I am a good person if I make other people happy. I am a bad person if I hurt other people....

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am-i-supposed-to-let-my-kids-walk-all-over-me

Am I Supposed to Let My Kids Walk All Over Me?

By Alison Cook | January 21, 2021

One of the most common questions that I hear from parents is some version of this one: “Am I supposed to let my kids walk all over me?” The answer is, “No.” But, there’s an important caveat that you must first understand: It’s not your child’s job to give you the respect you have never...

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should-i-turn-the-other-cheek

Should I Turn the Other Cheek?

By Alison Cook | November 18, 2020

Have you ever dealt with a difficult person, such as a bully, a manipulator, or someone who was just downright mean? I’ve counseled hundreds of women in these types of agonizing relationships. Yet, one of the first things these ladies will ask me is: Shouldn’t I turn the other cheek? Isn’t that how we’re supposed...

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While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.

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