Posts

inner-alert-system

How to Reclaim Your Inner Alert System

By Alison Cook | March 3, 2022

Did you know that you have a built-in alert system inside your soul? Yep. God designed you with a sophisticated, state-of-the-art system to alert you to danger in your environment. It’s your nervous system, which impacts your emotions, your thoughts, and nearly every decision you make. This whole system works together to help you keep...

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Stuck Between Empathy and Loyalty

The Empathy Trap

By Alison Cook | February 24, 2022

Sometimes the world can feel like a mess. The cruelty, the hatred, the gaslighting from every direction. The hidden agendas and loud, screaming voices. If you’re empathetic you feel all of it. You anticipate the pain of the people around you. You understand the hurt behind those who are misbehaving, even when their actions are...

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when-a-boundary-becomes-unhealthy

Can a Boundary Become Unhealthy?

By Alison Cook | February 10, 2022

Vivian feels frustrated that her friend, Sue, constantly offers unsolicited advice about how she parents her children. However, she’s afraid of making Sue mad, so she doesn’t say anything. She tells herself it’s better to keep the peace in the relationship than risk offending her friend. John is fearful about trusting anyone and refuses to...

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most-important-choice

The Most Important Choice You Make Each Day

By Alison Cook | January 27, 2022

Every single day, every single one of us faces both the good and the hard that we see in ourselves. We’re human. And, we have a choice about which of two voices we’ll listen to. The first voice is shame. Shame tells us that we’re “bad”, that we’re disgusting and not worthy. Shame can feel...

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Should I Become Less?

By Alison Cook | January 20, 2022

Have you heard the often-quoted verse: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30)? Maybe you have heard this verse as a call to humble yourself or make yourself small. You don’t want to exalt yourself in ways that are selfish or detrimental. So you might try to “become less” in any of...

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setting-boundaries-cruel

Will Setting Boundaries Make Me Cruel?

By Alison Cook | December 16, 2021

I hear this question often and it reveals a conundrum that many people of faith face when it comes to setting boundaries. Many of you feel that you have only two options when a boundary line has been crossed: a. Lash out and be perceived as cruel or selfish. b. Ignore the boundary foul and...

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what-to-do-with-loneliness

What to Do With Loneliness

By Alison Cook | December 2, 2021

I struggled with loneliness for years. And I did not know what to do with loneliness. In fact, I often felt as if it was a shameful secret I couldn’t tell anybody. I didn’t know that loneliness is a tender guide that could lead me to the connections I craved. The pain of loneliness is...

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key-to-Setting-boundaries

The Secret to Setting Boundaries

By Alison Cook | November 4, 2021

My client, Kay, was facing bullying at work. One colleague in particular was taking advantage of her. She didn’t like the way he treated her, but she didn’t know how to get it to stop. Each week, she would come into my office filled with anger, guilt, and shame. She’d fume about her colleague, and...

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The Hidden Root of Toxic Behavior

By Alison Cook | October 5, 2021

You don’t really care about me. You only care about yourself. These words lingered in Mya’s mind as she came to my office for counseling. Earlier that week, her mother had lashed out at her—again. The truth was that Mya was trying to help her arrange for transportation to and from the hospital. But, her...

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is-it-wrong-to-focus-on-myself

Is it Wrong to Focus on Myself?

By Alison Cook | August 26, 2021

As I’ve read and studied over the past few years, I am struck with two opposing messages that infiltrate our current cultural landscape. In the first message, you are taught to deny yourself in a way that I do not believe is of God. You are taught that you should bury your feelings, shrink, self-flagellate,...

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why-doesn't-god-just-fix-it

Why Doesn’t God Just Fix It?

By Alison Cook | August 5, 2021

My son has gone off the rails. Our marriage is imploding. I can’t get my ex to stop spreading lies about me. Why are my parents so cruel to me? These are just a few of the stories that show up in my counseling office. I hear these stories from people who are working hard...

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self-sabotaging relationships

What are Self-Sabotaging Messages and How Can You Spot Them?

By Alison Cook | July 29, 2021

As you may know if you’ve been following along these past few weeks, I’m writing a book this summer. Shortly after signing the contract, I started noticing old self-sabotaging behaviors that I haven’t seen in a decade. Suddenly, the house was clean, old files were organized. I was even starting to sleuth through a random...

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While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.

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