Posts by Alison Cook
Examples of Shame and 4 Strategies to Fight It
What are the words you beat yourself up with? Consider what you say to yourself when you’ve made a mistake, experienced a rejection, or been exposed in some way that was uncomfortable. Do you notice examples of shame messages inside of yourself like these: You’re a terrible person. You’re not worthy of love. You deserve...
How to Deal with Envy: An Exercise in Curiosity
Envy is a powerful emotion that keeps you in an emotional and spiritual fog. When it descends, you can suddenly find yourself in a dark place. You start to feel awful about yourself and resentful of other people. Everyone needs to know how to deal with envy. The problem is that most people try to...
Types of Loneliness and the Importance of Facing It
No one wants to feel lonely. And yet, every single person does. Loneliness, along with anxiety, is one of the most basic realities of being human. Facing your loneliness takes courage. And, it’s important to understand different types of loneliness, so that you can get on the right path toward meaningful connection. Even before the...
How to Deal with Grief Using 2 Helpful Guidelines
“I don’t want to be with you anymore,” he said over dinner. “I’ve met someone else.” My client, Tasha, was reeling from the news that her husband wanted a divorce. Over the next few months, her mind spun as she second-guessed every move she’d made in her short-lived marriage and wrestled with how to deal...
Overcoming Guilt: 3 Ways to Live Guilt Free
Many women struggle with overcoming constant feelings of guilt. The lingering voice of guilt can feel like an ever-present companion: You’re not giving your kids enough attention. You’re late. Now, your colleague will have to pick up your slack. You’re neglecting your friends. What about your mom? Dad? Sister? Grandparent? They need you. Overcoming guilt...
Fear in the Bible and 4 Ways to Address It
Fear is one of the most common human emotions. And, it is one of the most common emotions mentioned in the Bible. Some of the biggest heroes of faith struggled with fear in the Bible. It’s an expected and healthy human response to a range of events from violence and oppression to rejection and personal...
The Danger of Being a People Pleaser
“What is the danger of being a people pleaser?” my client asked angrily one day. “Isn’t pleasing people kind and helpful? Isn’t that how God wants us to be?” Kathleen had come to me for help with her depression. She was exhausted, lonely, and felt guilty all the time. Before long, it became clear to...
An Emotional Healing Process Everyone Should Know
Everyone deals with painful emotions from time to time. You might struggle with anger, envy, fear, or guilt. These emotions might be related to a current experience, or they might be emotions you have struggled with for a very long time. Regardless, it’s possible to engage an emotional healing process on your journey toward wholeness....
Church Hurt and 4 Steps for Healing
Have you ever experienced “church hurt”? As a counselor, I’ve seen the various wounds that people experience from unhealthy leaders while attending church. Here are some examples of church hurt: • A single mom whose church promised to stand by her, then disappeared after she got a divorce from her abusive husband • A kind-hearted...
How to Control Anger Outbursts in 5 Steps
Nothing can improve your relationship more than learning how to control anger outbursts. For example, do you find yourself losing your temper with your loved ones? Do you yell at your kids more often than you’d like to admit? Or, do you get resentful towards your spouse and lash out with sarcastic remarks? You might...
3 Signs of Bad Church Leadership
What are the signs of bad church leadership versus church leaders who are healthy? A church is like any family. It’s comprised of wounded people. The presence of wounds does not make or break a church or a family. It’s what we do with them that makes the difference. In healthy families, each member manages...
The Effects of Toxic Parenting and 5 Steps to Healing
Toxic parenting creates situations where a child does not get the understanding, nurturing, and care that he or she needs. We tend to think of toxicity in terms of physical or verbal abuse. But, the truth is, it can show up in even more subtle ways. For example, if you were overly criticized, neglected, ignored,...
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.
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