Posts by Alison Cook
Guest Post at AnnVoskamp.com
Thanks so much to the lovely Ann Voskamp for featuring my story—adapted from Chapter 5 of Boundaries for Your Soul —on her blog this week. It’s about how my journey to becoming a psychologist was disrupted when I had to face my own overwhelming emotions and learn to befriend them. If you’re anything like me,...
How to calm your worry
My client, Nicole, could not calm her worry. She worried about everything: she worried that if she didn’t marry, she would grow old alone—and that if she were to marry, her husband would end up cheating on her. She worried that if she stayed in her job, she would burn out—and that if she left...
4 ways to shift from overthinking to courageous risk-taking
Are you guilty of overthinking? I’ve had a few nicknames in my day. Most of them felt loving, but in my early twenties one took hold that really stung— “Analison.” Get it? Analyze + Alison = Analison. Ouch! If a friend or loved one is pointing out your tendency to over-analyze, you might want to...
Controlling others or confident leadership?
Would you rather lead by controlling others. . .or by empowering them? The answer to this question is pretty obvious. Controlling others gets a bad rap, and for good reason. Controlling behaviors can lead to manipulation, abuse of power, and boundary violations. On the other hand, we do want to have “self-control” and we also...
The 5 signs that your desire to please others has become extreme
The desire to please others isn’t all bad. But when the desire to please becomes extreme, it keeps you from tending to a more vulnerable part of your own soul in need. When you focus always on the needs of others, you risk neglecting your deepest desires. You also may be avoiding your fears and...
The 7 most common protectors that keep you from connection with others
You know the feeling. . .You’re at the dinner table with the people you love most, but you’re not really present. Your mind is a million miles away. Maybe you’re mentally scanning your to-do list or replaying the tape of that hard conversation you had with a friend earlier that day. Maybe you’re berating yourself...
How to Replenish Your Emotional Bank Account
So what IS comfort? According to the dictionary, it’s simply the easing of a difficult or painful emotion. It can also apply to physical pain. Comfort isn’t a band-aid, nor is it a cure. It doesn’t cover over pain, nor does it completely take it away. Comfort acknowledges the reality of pain and provides some relief. . ....
How to Identify a Part of Your Soul in Need
If you’re struggling with an extreme emotion, a hurting part of your soul might need your attention. Typically, an extreme emotion, such as anger or anxiety, or an overwhelming compulsion, such as over-thinking or people-pleasing, is a cue that some other more vulnerable part of your soul needs your attention. Let’s say you’re feeling irritable,...
You can thrive in summer, even when your schedule is falling apart
I always struggled to thrive in summer, even before I had a family. On one hand, I enjoy the happy chaos, but my soul tends to take a beating without the natural rhythms of a school year. In the absence of a set structure, I default to adapting my day-to-day routines around the needs of...
When you want to bring peace to others
We want to bring peace to others. Unfortunately, our loved ones’ struggles often trigger our own troubling emotions, making it difficult to be of real help. When someone shares a need or frustration, the following four types of responses are common but not always most helpful. Do you recognize your own go-to method here? Agreement....
Taking a You-Turn with Your Emotions
There was such a strong response to this devotion I recently wrote for Proverbs 31.org that I wanted to share it here to continue the conversation about coping with our most challenging emotions. Let me know about your own journey in the comments! ~Alison “The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding...
Guest Post | Kimberly Miller
The wonderful Ann Voskamp featured a post by my co-author, Kimberley Miller, recently. It’s called “When You Need to Know How to Hold the Overwhelming Sadness in Your Heart,” and it’s a moving and inspiring reflection about finding peace amidst chaos and grief. I think you’ll like it. Let us know your thoughts below or over...
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this website and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this website are for informational purposes only.
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